I did it again, disappeared from the blog for a bit. It has been hard. The DID has scared and depressed me.

The new job is great, but I had something happen related to my previous employer that has had me triggered. I don’t want to be triggered. I don’t want to dwell on what happened. I want to not feel this way, but, still, I am triggered.

Doc and I had a talk about my diagnosis this week where he confirmed for me that DID is my actual diagnosis. This time I did not freak out, and I was happy that I was relatively calm during our conversation. I have been feeling low about it, but I suppose that’s better than freaking out.

I’ve been losing time at home, and I’ve started to feel like DID is my terrible secret. I’ve told 4 people who are close to me about my DID. Two have been supportive, and the other two refuse to believe that it’s a real condition. The 4 people I told are people close to me, and it makes me reluctant to tell anyone else, not that it’s information that I would freely share with people, but still …

Though I am not doing that great I think the new job has helped things a bit. I feel like I have more of a purpose there, and I certainly am motivated to be there even when I feel foggy.

I am beginning to believe that things will always be incredibly difficult …