I really don’t appreciate this DID thing …

Posted on by

2

I know, I’ve heard it from Doc already. The dissociation helped me cope with traumatic events in my childhood. Yes, I know this, but I still do not like this knowledge that I now possess. I’m not saying it’s better not to know. I would always rather know the truth. I’m just struggling with the reality of DID.

I find myself even more fearful of social situations because I don’t want to inadvertently switch. I know this can happen because it has happened to me in the past now that I’ve been able to go back in time and connect the dots in my chaotic life.

There is this wish and desire to be fully functional and really living life. But I am tired, very tired from all the detours, diagnoses, and setbacks.

Dear God, help me find a way to functionality. I don’t want to live this way for the rest of my life.

Ronnie

Posted on by

6

Hi I am ronnie and i am scared. Dan came to the house to check on Beatriz. I wanna go away. I dont wonaa be here. I had my Hammy the hamster stuffed animal, but I need more huggies. I am watching cartoons that Beatriz has on the tv for me. She taped clifford the big red dog. i am trying to feel happy from watching it but I don’t feel happy. I am scared of a lot of things. i am tired and i am going to bed real soon.

 

Letty is very mad

Posted on by

2

This is Letty. I am very scared. The lady at work knows the secret. She knows and I don’t like it. The lady guessed it. And Beatriz can’t lie. She needed to lie. I was telling her DON’T SAY IT. But she did say it to the lady.

Then I wanted to get under the desk and Beatriz said no because we were at work. Then I wanted us to leave and Beatriz said no because work wasn’t over. When Beatriz started shaking in the ladys office the lady said to her, “you should work out such announcements with your people. I think some are not happy!”

I wanted to say Yeah! when she said this but Beatriz was keeping me from talking. I was happy when the lady started talking about work again. Oh I am mad mad mad. I can’t be a good Lookout if people know!