Dear body,

I know you have a mind of your own, but I need to get to sleep. You see, you and I have not been getting along well lately. How can I count the ways? There was the chipped tooth in my sleep. Yesterday it was weird pain in both of my shoulders when I woke up. Pray tell, what were we doing in the night? Never mind, I probably don’t want to know. Then there’s always the intermittent painful right leg that hampers me upon waking just about once a week. I think I know what that one is about, but, really, didn’t we already suffer enough when that actually took place live and in person?

So, how about we go to sleep, just normal boring sleep like a well-adjusted person? I know we’re not well-adjusted, but we can pretend for the night, can we? You see, here’s the thing, I like to be employed. It’s nice paying my bills, making rent, putting gas in my car, eating … I know, I can be so high maintenance. What can I say? I like the good life. But, in order to do these things I need to sleep RIGHT NOW. The bonus is that you get to do these awesome things with me. So, how about we turn out the lights, snuggle up with my stuffed Grinchy (I’m already in the holiday spirit!) and try to get some sleep? I’m game if you are.

In appreciation,

Beatriz (the inhabitant of said body)