Good news/Bad news

Friday was a crazy day. I had to try to convince an employee to __________. In the unlikely, but still possible, event that someone can guess where I work, or even the specific situation I had before me, I will stay on the side of caution.

Anyhow, I was not able to convince this particular employee to _________. It happens. We’re HR professionals, not magicians.

I had to give the Division Director where this employee works the bad news, and he was not happy about it. He got this pouty boy face, and he looked like a little boy having a tantrum. I kept saying to him, “Let’s go talk to Jane Doe (our HR Director).” I kept telling him that I wanted to help him fix the situation. He was not responding to me, so I just left him in the middle of the HR area while I left to talk to Jane.

Later, after everything calmed down, people said that I handled the Division Director very well. People also mentioned that he was yelling, and I just don’t remember that. But more than one person mentioned that to me. I wish I could recall more of the situation. I hate that I don’t remember all of it. Heck, I didn’t even know that I didn’t remember all of it.

I felt wired the rest of the day, and I could tell I was jacked up on adrenalin, another clue that something happened. I got home, and went to bed early, and even slept in late. Those are signs that I was triggered, and likely dissociative on Friday.

Feels like a case of good news/bad news.

 

Hi from Letty

Hi guys

It’s Letty. I am ok tonight. We are doing better now. Beatriz cooked at Dan’s house last night. He had us come over to make him a dinner because he knows that helps Beatriz feel better. She likes to cook. We had pork chops and carrots and kale AND some nice rolls. Beatriz then made banana nutella hand pies. I like those a lot.

I talked to Doc today and told him I was mad that Beatriz told the lady at work about us cause I wanted her to lie. He said that its not a bad thing that Beatriz does not lie. I don’t know. I just wish the lady did not know about me. But she seems nice. I just feel better undercover. I like to hide. I feel better when I hide and can see people.

Beatriz forgot to leave the light on near the door. We came home and it was all very very dark. I got scared. Didn’t like it. Beatriz was sorry. She just forgot to leave the light on cause we were in a hurry this morning. The dark is very scary. I don’t like it. I wish there was never any dark anywhere in the world.

Sincerely,

Letty  – 10 years old

A strange blessing in alarming news …

In the throes of suicidal ideation I received a phone call from my bank’s risk management unit. Apparently, my debit card number was stolen, and suspicious charges were made in another part of the country that I have never set foot in my entire life. The charges were flagged as suspicious, and when I confirmed that they were not my charges they shut down my account. Sooo … I have to wait until tomorrow to get access to my account again.

In the mean time, I will be going to the grocery store with a credit card. It feels weird to charge groceries. But, I am thankful that it was caught in time, and that my funds are now safe.

I don’t know if it’s in bad taste to point this out, but the whole whoo-ha around this thing sprung me back to life. It’s kind of like came back to life. When I get that feeling of wanting to die it often feels like it’s not me, especially with the cacophony of voices in my head that tries to compel me to do awful things to myself.

It is so freaking weird how I feel like myself again. Geesh! Is it a blessing my debit card number was compromised?

I have a splitting headache, the kind that I recognize that’s associated with switches. Time to make a green smoothie.