the elusive hunt for a new therapist

Readers of this blog may not be surprised to learn that I am looking for a new therapist. There was the incident in January, and there have been other incidents since then that I’ve not written about. I am done, beyond fucking done. I know it might be useful to others to share the latest experience with Doc that led me to this decision, but it is too upsetting. To summarize, (my writing teacher would so object, we should never summarize, but I need to in this case) by Doc’s own admission there has been too much countertransference from him in my sessions. He’s apologized profusely, but he does this every single time. He apologizes profusely, and then it happens again! I’ve also noticed it happens on a 1-2 month interval.

It’s practically been a part-time job trying to find a new therapist. I’ve called therapists that I was given as possible leads, and when one particular therapist could not take me on as a client because she did not have room she offered to try to find me some leads. I’ve then been following up with those leads, and I am disheartened that too many of these people are not good about returning phone calls. A note to any therapists out there reading this: Even if you can’t take on a patient, you should return their phone call and tell them you have no room! I would like to know why the hell I have to put such an obvious thing in a blog post. Returning phone calls in a timely manner (1-2 business days) is the appropriate thing to do, and aside from that, it’s the kind thing to do. A person is looking for a therapist for fuck’s sake! It’s not like I called to order a pizza. I imagine in most professions it is inappropriate to not return phone calls. The expectation is not lowered for therapists, just saying in case some therapists out there are not aware.

I was asked by one therapist how complex I am. I did not know how to answer this question, so gave her my take of myself at this point. Then I never heard back from her. All this searching is made more difficult by the fact that I am looking for someone with experience treating dissociative identity disorder as well as PTSD.

I feel like I’m in a lake with no boat.

12 thoughts on “the elusive hunt for a new therapist

  1. Crap! This is one very disheartening conquest. Man! A long time ago I used to work with people over the net to assist with finding them a therapist. I gathered the names, called to see if they were accepting patients, then when they were finally ready to speak to the client the client was given their number and all pertinent information. Someone should start such a service. Help find a therapist, individualize it and take the pressure off the patient. It is upsetting to keep hearing no or to have someone stupid come along and ask you how sick you are or some other stupid question. Argh! I hate looking for a new therapist or any new service provider for that matter.
    I have written open letters to doctors and therapists all through my years of blogging because they too often get wrapped up in their work and forget that there’s a person waiting, needing the very skills they claim to offer.
    I wish my therapist would give me some crap. I’ve been with him for 8 years now. I could just see it now. Dude, shut up, after 8 yrs I’ve paid for your house. You need to start thanking me for coming here.
    Seriously though, I’ve had some bad experiences as well as really good ones. There are good and helpful therapists, please do not give up in finding help for yourself. You will tire, you will be angry but in the end when you find the right therapist you will grow. Please keep searching.

  2. Beatriz, check out the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation here: They have a “find a therapist” section on the website. You could also contact the International Society for the Study of Multiple Personality and Dissociation in Skokie, IL (5700 Old Orchard Road, First Fl., Skokie, IL 60077-1024 Phone 708-966-4322). You can also do a search online for MPD or DD treatment centers. If that doesn’t help, let me know. I’ll see what else I can dig up for you.


    • Thanks for all the leads, Cinda. I found someone from a previous therapist that I liked, but could not afford because she does not take insurance. She personally called a number of people for me. It was very helpful, especially since I’m looking for someone with DID experience. And, the person she connected me with is only a 15 minute walk from my office. No more 25 mile drives for therapy! I am feeling hopeful. My conversation with the new therapist was encouraging. Thanks, as always.


  3. I hope you have gotten somewhere with this — I remember I was looking for a therapist and the only way I got through the frustration was the EAP office gave me a short list after they had checked what they did , if they were covered my insurance, and if they were accepting new patients. I can’t imagine how difficult this is.

  4. I hope you find someone soon. I remember searching for my therapist. I thought I’d never find someone with experience with did. But I eventually did. It may take a while. But dont give up! You’ll hopefully find someone great! XX

  5. Pingback: One never knows what comes next | A Year in the Life of PTSD

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