Almost one week later I’m still seeing Jimmy, the guy I met last Saturday. At this point he knows the important highlights about me: the fact that I’m in sobriety, have PTSD and a dissociative disorder. He’s actually good with all of that as he’s a psychiatric nurse, so that partially explains his empathetic manner.
However, and here’s where I’m a bit cautious, I really think we may have a significant difference between us. I tend to stay out of my apartment as much as I can because I tend to lose time there. It’s odd, but I do better “out in the world” like hanging out a coffee shop, or going out to a diner. Whereas, he has such high anxiety that his default is staying home, and it sounds like he stays home a lot. He doesn’t travel, go see live music, or go on long car rides if he can help it. It seems like he stays home as much as he can.
Also, early this week he was texting me a number of times a day while I was at work. I did tell him that it was too much of a distraction to get that many texts during the work day. I also told him that I was feeling like it was too much too soon. To his credit, he’s giving me some more breathing space now.
I’m seeing him on Saturday. It’s actually kind of a challenge for us to come up with things to do because we’re so divergent in our preferences. I suggested live Celtic music, and he suggested a movie at his apartment. The compromise is going out to an ice cream stand near the airport to watch the planes take off. We’ll see how things go.
I hope it’ll be nice 🙂
That is tricky. my first reaction is how can this work.. but then a pondered some more and actually it might be perfect. he will make you feel better staying home. not being alone will make it different I would think, his home might feel more out than yours too and you can urge him out into the world more. The first compromises between you. good relationship training 🙂 good luck!
My partner and I are like chalk and cheese too yet somehow we make it work. He is very out and about person; whereas I am a very stay at home person. When he goes out with friends, to the pub or whatever, he gently encourages me to go, but I never do. In fact I have not properly met a single one of his friends really; but he is okay with that. We make compromises, like you are doing. If the relationship is right, these differences won’t matter. you’ll work it through. xx