Category Archives: dissociative identity disorder

Last night was scary for Letty

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Hi guys,

I’m at lunch with Beatriz. Last night was scary for us. It’s very very cold here, and I got scared that we would not have a place to live. Beatriz’s mom used to yell a lot about losing the house and not having a place to live if we did not have enough money. I used to get very scared of that happening when it got cold outside.

I called Dan, Beatriz’s friend. He figured out it was me, and not Beatriz, but he was ok with that. He asked me why I didn’t say at the beginning that it was me. I told him that I didn’t want to scare him, and he said I didn’t have to worry about that. He also said we would never be homeless, and that even if that happened that we could live with him. But he said that he doesn’t ever see us becoming homeless because Beatriz has a job.

I hope he is right, and I wish my brain believed what he said.

Scared Letty – 10 years old

Good news/Bad news

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Friday was a crazy day. I had to try to convince an employee to __________. In the unlikely, but still possible, event that someone can guess where I work, or even the specific situation I had before me, I will stay on the side of caution.

Anyhow, I was not able to convince this particular employee to _________. It happens. We’re HR professionals, not magicians.

I had to give the Division Director where this employee works the bad news, and he was not happy about it. He got this pouty boy face, and he looked like a little boy having a tantrum. I kept saying to him, “Let’s go talk to Jane Doe (our HR Director).” I kept telling him that I wanted to help him fix the situation. He was not responding to me, so I just left him in the middle of the HR area while I left to talk to Jane.

Later, after everything calmed down, people said that I handled the Division Director very well. People also mentioned that he was yelling, and I just don’t remember that. But more than one person mentioned that to me. I wish I could recall more of the situation. I hate that I don’t remember all of it. Heck, I didn’t even know that I didn’t remember all of it.

I felt wired the rest of the day, and I could tell I was jacked up on adrenalin, another clue that something happened. I got home, and went to bed early, and even slept in late. Those are signs that I was triggered, and likely dissociative on Friday.

Feels like a case of good news/bad news.

 

Letty’s Report

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Hi guys,

I missed blogging with you guys. It’s been a hard time. Today Beatriz had a hard time waking up. We woke up late, but then all the snow outside scared her because we had a long drive to Doc’s office. We woke up late because we had trouble staying asleep, something has been scaring her. Then the snow also scared her, and she called Doc to say we were not coming today. Well, then Doc didn’t listen very well and he said that Beatriz needed to pay for the session if she didn’t come. He also sounded mad. He doesn’t make her pay if  we can’t come because she is sick or if the weather is bad. But then he sounded mad and Beatriz had trouble talking. She has trouble talking when she is scared.

Doc couldn’t understand what she was saying so he said, “Can someone else in there tell me what’s going on?” So, I spoke up, and told him why she was scared. He said he was sorry, and that he misunderstood. But I am still mad at him because he was not nice to Beatriz and she started to cry. The more I think about it, guys, the madder I get at Doc. He’s grouchy sometimes, and Beatriz is very sensitive.

Then we had trouble getting out of bed. Beatriz wanted to go into work early since we didn’t go see Doc. But she couldn’t get out of bed. Doc told me to have her do some tapping and do something called “co-consciousness.” We tried to tap (that’s the Emotional Freedom Technique), but she was too out of it. And I did not understand his “co-consciousness” thing. I wanted to tell him, “Doc, if you were just NICER when she called we wouldn’t be here!” I had extra work because of that cranky guy. I don’t mind having extra work to help Beatriz. I just don’t like seeing her like that.

So, I did the only thing I know how to do. I got all the blankets around Beatriz like a cocoon. She likes the nice white one against her skin because she likes how it feels. So I made sure that one was the first one on her. We cocooned until we had to get up.

It’s not what Doc wanted, but I can only do so much. He can help me out by not being a cranky old man.

I like talking to you guys again.

Letty – 10 years old