Tag Archives: Dissociative identity disorder

Letty needs a friend

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Hi guys

I am scared, but I don’t know why. We have to go to bed, but its gonna be hard I think. I want to wake up Doc right now and give him a piece of my mind. I don’t feel safe with anyone. Too many things scare me right now. My ears are ringing. I don’t know why.

I wish someone nice was here with me.

Lefty – 10 years old

Letty’s Report

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Hi guys,

I missed blogging with you guys. It’s been a hard time. Today Beatriz had a hard time waking up. We woke up late, but then all the snow outside scared her because we had a long drive to Doc’s office. We woke up late because we had trouble staying asleep, something has been scaring her. Then the snow also scared her, and she called Doc to say we were not coming today. Well, then Doc didn’t listen very well and he said that Beatriz needed to pay for the session if she didn’t come. He also sounded mad. He doesn’t make her pay if  we can’t come because she is sick or if the weather is bad. But then he sounded mad and Beatriz had trouble talking. She has trouble talking when she is scared.

Doc couldn’t understand what she was saying so he said, “Can someone else in there tell me what’s going on?” So, I spoke up, and told him why she was scared. He said he was sorry, and that he misunderstood. But I am still mad at him because he was not nice to Beatriz and she started to cry. The more I think about it, guys, the madder I get at Doc. He’s grouchy sometimes, and Beatriz is very sensitive.

Then we had trouble getting out of bed. Beatriz wanted to go into work early since we didn’t go see Doc. But she couldn’t get out of bed. Doc told me to have her do some tapping and do something called “co-consciousness.” We tried to tap (that’s the Emotional Freedom Technique), but she was too out of it. And I did not understand his “co-consciousness” thing. I wanted to tell him, “Doc, if you were just NICER when she called we wouldn’t be here!” I had extra work because of that cranky guy. I don’t mind having extra work to help Beatriz. I just don’t like seeing her like that.

So, I did the only thing I know how to do. I got all the blankets around Beatriz like a cocoon. She likes the nice white one against her skin because she likes how it feels. So I made sure that one was the first one on her. We cocooned until we had to get up.

It’s not what Doc wanted, but I can only do so much. He can help me out by not being a cranky old man.

I like talking to you guys again.

Letty – 10 years old

Back

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Hi all,

Clearly I’ve been absent for a long while. I had a hard stretch there during the holidays. I spent the holidays with my sister, and it was nice being with family that does not freak me out. But there were times when I was switchy and basically tweaking out. I worked very hard to keep things under wraps at my sister’s house because I desperately did not want to scare the kids. I think I pulled it off, but it was exhausting.

Once I returned from my vacation I felt incredibly sad returning to my apartment by myself. The contrast of having been with a family for days on end just multiplied my feelings of loneliness.

The depression quickly settled in and set up camp. It was a different kind of depression in that there was no crying or freaking out, just an immense wish to not be here, a vacuum of loneliness.

Trying to keep going, one foot in front of the other.

I must give a special shout out to Joe, a fellow blogger, for helping to pull me out of the junk heap. He didn’t give up on me. Thanks, Joe. We should all have such good friends.