Clearly I’ve been absent for a long while. I had a hard stretch there during the holidays. I spent the holidays with my sister, and it was nice being with family that does not freak me out. But there were times when I was switchy and basically tweaking out. I worked very hard to keep things under wraps at my sister’s house because I desperately did not want to scare the kids. I think I pulled it off, but it was exhausting.
Once I returned from my vacation I felt incredibly sad returning to my apartment by myself. The contrast of having been with a family for days on end just multiplied my feelings of loneliness.
The depression quickly settled in and set up camp. It was a different kind of depression in that there was no crying or freaking out, just an immense wish to not be here, a vacuum of loneliness.
Trying to keep going, one foot in front of the other.
I must give a special shout out to Joe, a fellow blogger, for helping to pull me out of the junk heap. He didn’t give up on me. Thanks, Joe. We should all have such good friends.