You want something better for yourself, a better life, for starters. But triggers, memories and flashbacks bring you falling down time and again. You get up , and fall down, ad nauseam.
How long can this go on? Ad nauseam? You don’t want to conceive of that possibility.
You want to remain employable, be a better friend, get a dog. You have a job, but you always fear being found out as truly belonging in the loony bin, and you know you need to work on being a better friend. And so many things have to happen before you can get a dog. It all seems so out of your league, so meant for others, but not for you.
On good days you reach and reach and reach into the depths of your soul, and yank out the oomph you need to keep you going, keep you from falling off the edge.
On bad days you stare at the edge of ledge and wonder …
i wish i knew what to say…thinking of you and hugs. xo
yank out that oomph, B! Go get that dog 🙂
Need an extra side of oomph please along with some sausage gravy!
lol you got it B 🙂
Justing so you know I’m here….safe hugs.
I know what you mean.