Good-bye, Downtown Diner

Dear Downtown Diner Owners,

I am officially severing our business relationship. It’s been good … okay, well, it was good. But, recently, things have taken a bad turn. I can no longer ignore it. Admittedly, I’ve been trying to ignore the downward spiral. There’s a bit of shame in my admission that I held on longer than I should have because I really covet your meatloaf panini special. I love how you place meatloaf slices with bacon, caramelized onions, and mozzarella cheese between pita bread and press it all in a panini press. I’m guilty of overlooking your wrongs because of this dish and a few others, but the meatloaf panini is my favorite.

My first clue fell in my lap when I came in on a recent Sunday for breakfast, and business was slow enough that you both had time chat with me. Here’s some advice: Don’t trash talk your wait staff to me. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to know. I come to your place to eat because I need a respite from the grind of my day. I come for a bit of an escape, and the comfort of your good food. I don’t want to hear about your HR problems, especially since these same people serve me on a regular basis.

But even worse than trash talking your wait staff is the fact that you trashed one particular person because she has a mental illness. I still shudder at the fact that I didn’t stop patronizing your business the moment this happened. I knew even in the moment when you described her bipolar behavior to me, and subsequently trashed her, that I should have fled the scene. I’ll admit I felt awkward later with all my unsolicited behind-the-scenes knowledge any time I was there.¬†But, I would think back to your dreamy meatloaf, and just shake off my nagging feelings.

You see, you should know better for so many reasons. Let me count the ways … Patrons don’t want to hear bad stuff about your peeps. They want the illusion of a well-oiled machine, whether or not that is the case. Also, you should be careful. You’re an employer, for god’s sake. Trash talking your employee because of her disability puts you in potential hot water. Get a brain about this HR stuff if you want to continue to make your living as an employer.

The other thing to consider is that you never¬†really know who you’re talking to when you’re making chit-chat. You think you may know me well because I told you both I’m in sobriety, and I don’t drink. But that tidbit doesn’t even scratch the surface of who I am. I, myself, have PTSD and dissociative identity disorder. I know that it’s likely you never would have guessed this about me as you know what I do for a living, and you see me with all my colleagues having lunch in your diner. But, I am a person with a mental illness. I work hard to maintain my ability to work, but that’s because I’m fortunate enough that I can afford the treatment that I need. Remember when I asked you if you had suggested to your waitress that she go to the county mental health center? Do you recall how I was trying to tell you how to advise her to access mental health services? If you were smart enough you would have concluded that I’d had a few rodeos myself, and there was a reason I knew how to get “in the system.” Lesson: mentally ill people are sensitive to other mentally ill peers getting trashed simply because they’re mentally ill.

Don’t worry. I won’t trash review you on yelp, or anywhere else. Okay, yes, I’m trashing you here, but no one knows your name here. Your stupidity is safe here. But, really, get a brain, and kiss the meatloaf good-bye for me. We had a good run, me and that meatloaf.


Speak the truth

I’ve decided that I’m finally going to do it. By making this promise on here to you, dear readers, that means that I must follow through.

I am going to file my complaint.

Months ago I attempted to go back my previous field. I was at the job for less than three weeks. I feel compelled to point out that I left of my own accord. I don’t want to get into specifics, but my supervisor was discriminatory about my PTSD.

I was able to go back to my previous position, but I think the whole experience set me back in a number of ways.

Friends were divided as to whether or not I should file a discriminatory complaint. I’ve been torn as well. I let it sit for three months, and I’ve found that I still want to file the complaint. So I shall do so.

Honestly, it’s probably likely I won’t prevail. Not because the allegations aren’t true, there’s just not a whole lot of proof. That’s one reason I was hesitant.

But I decided that even if I don’t prevail people who discriminate need to be called out on it. She will, at the very least, have to respond to my complaint. Even that very act could go towards planting a seed in her brain that her behavior towards me was unacceptable, unlawful and discriminatory. Even if I don’t “win” in the traditional sense I might “win” by getting some people to give better thought to their actions.

We shall see.