Tag Archives: anxiety

Car accident = freaked out

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17

I had a minor car accident this morning, no one was hurt. An elderly man hit me in a store parking lot. He really did not want me to file a police report. When he hit me I started cursing in my car, but once I got out of the car, I was amazed that I was calm. Thank god I was calm. I was afraid I was in the midst of switching, especially with the cursing because it isn’t like me to curse.

Police came and made him fork over all the relevant information for me. I started to drive away, and he almost hit me again! Then I found myself floaty while driving. I quickly pulled into a diner, and stayed there even after I finished eating because I felt like I was in a fog.

I walked out to my car, and that felt like a Herculean effort. I started feeling myself float away in the car, so I just sat there. Two hours passed before I deemed it safe to drive. Excruciating. Then I drove to a bookstore. Thankfully, only a few blocks from the diner, and stayed in my car another 45 minutes. Finally, I made it inside the bookstore. Geesh! So productive today, arent we?

Now I’m just sitting here in a mini fog, but still a fog. I had a crying spell in the car, and now I’m calmer. Is the whole weekend going to be like this? Oy! I really hope not. Please, universe, Gods, whomever, help me find a calm mind again.

the grocery store

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12

I was doing fine until this evening. Now I feel panicky and twitchy. In an effort to combat my panicky and twitchy feeling I took myself to the grocery store. I had forgotten a few items on the first trip to the store so I thought it was a good time to go back out.

In an odd, but helpful turn of events, my shopping list landed me in the refrigerated and freezer aisles, a perfect place to get grounded with the cold temperature!

First, I needed iced tea.

That unsweetened tea sells rather quickly, as you can see! People are learning that unsweetened is better.

Then I needed yogurt, which was across from the tea.

I got lucky. They had my Fage Plain 0% Fat yogurt. It often runs out! I had my items and started heading to cash out when I noticed the ice cream aisle. So, of course, I headed for some ice cream.

Is that Edy’s Slow Churned Vanilla Bean in the single serving size? Yes it is! Am I lactose intolerant? Yes, I am, but that’s why they invented lactaid pills.

Going to the grocery store was a good distraction, and I got the items I previously forgot, minus the ice cream. That was a bonus impulse buy. I am not completely out of the triggery panicky woods, but I think I’m better off by having gone to the store, and I’m certainly not worse off for the trip.

Everyday we do the best we can.

I miss wearing necklaces

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What you see above is my favorite necklace. Right now, for some reason, I cannot wear it for any significant period of time. Necklaces are my favorite pieces of jewelry. But, lately, I start to get this panicky chokey feeling any time I am wearing one. I few times at work I had to, all of a sudden, take off my necklace. I’ve given up wearing them altogether.

With giving up necklaces, I often get annoyed in the morning when I put on one of my outfits that goes perfectly with the necklace pictured above. I stare at the bare spot on my neck where the necklace would go, and I feel incomplete. But, I’m doing everything I can to avoid dissociation and triggers, so I don’t wear a necklace.

The most vexing thing about this situation is that I don’t know why I have this reaction with anything touching my neck. I have absolutely no memory of anything that can account for this. All I know is how I feel if I have a necklace on, or if someone I am dating touches my neck.

I miss my pink flower necklace.