I have go into the lion’s den tomorrow. Tomorrow I have to make an all day presentation in a job in which I chafe at on a daily basis. It’s possible to chug through most days when I’m behind a desk dutifully plugging away at my work. It’s an altogether different scenario when you have to stand in front of the entire state, and run a video conference in a job in which you fantasize about leaving.
This job has been good to me in a number of ways. It has enabled me to have flexibility with all of my therapy and psychiatry appointments. My boss is very supportive of me. Now I’m drawing a blank at thinking of other positives …
The job can be very adversarial, and because of this, I can get triggered at times. I most fear someone being horrible during the video conference tomorrow. I’ve seen it happen to other colleagues of mine. I just keep telling myself that even if the worst happens I won’t die. I’ll live through it. They can’t imprison me or torture me. I’ll be able to walk away at the end. There will be an end. That’s what I keep telling myself.
I’ve even planned to have dinner and a movie with a friend after work so that I have something to look forward to after this ridiculous ordeal.
Serendipitously, I have a second job interview on Friday for a position in human resources, my previous field. I had a very traumatic experience in my last job in human resources. That’s the main reason I left that job. My previous director assaulted me. The whole thing was a very traumatic ordeal. I stayed at my human resources job for 2 years after the event, but I knew that I needed to move on in order to make progress in getting better.
That’s what brought me to the job I currently hold. Every moment that frustrates me at this job causes me to mourn the loss of a career I loved. I want it back, but for tomorrow I need to be present to get the current job done. Get through tomorrow to get to Friday in order to try to come back home where I belong.
You’ll be okay! Hang in there!
I hung in, and lived through it! And I’m thankful! 🙂
i’ll be thinking of you. if it gets difficult picture them sitting on the loo..lol lotsa love
Praying you’ll have a successful day. 🙂
I lived through it! 🙂 That’s the important part! Thank you!
You’ll make it. I hope everything will be alright xx
Thanks! It wound up being alright in the end!
Sending all my strengthening thoughts xx
I hope the presentation went well and the interview went fantastic! wishing you lots of positive vibes! and plenty of happy wishes on today of all days!
Thanks! It was alright. I survived, could have been better, could have been worse.
Thanks for the good wishes on Friday, especially!
Hope it all went well! Sometimes presentations can look scarier than they actually end up being. xox